What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
