the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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