C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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