Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
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