He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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