Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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