Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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