are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Too much gin, very little bucket
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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