IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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