Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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