My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
