I cockslap morals
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sext me about skeletons
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
