this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
