Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
