Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
