I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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