If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
