Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
