So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
