just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
