Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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