my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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