I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
