i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
