Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she peed on how many people?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
