just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im having a threesome with these popsicles
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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