I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
