took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
