then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
