youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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