How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
