I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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