wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
How's work?
Spinning.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
