It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
