if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
