Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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