I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
