I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
