The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
