I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
