i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm just crazy horny about you
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
