Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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