Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
