worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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