I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
