is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
