So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
3pm strippers are depressing
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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