I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
