don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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