the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
