the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
