I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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